Whose Dream are You Funding: Success or Failure?
I am
honest enough to say I want the world for my daughter. And why wouldn't I?! As
a parent I want my children to experience success. I want them to have access
to the things that interest them. The
hope is that my perception of their interests are actually legit. How do I
verify that I am right? I don't want to
be that parent to push my dreams on my daughter (or my sons).
I want my daughter to work for her dreams. At the same time I struggle to determine how to support her to embrace the possibility of failure. I do not pretend everything will work out the way she plans. But, I do not want her to fear failure. I want to show her not to fear failure. For my daughter to live out her dreams she will have to be bold. Sometimes she will have to be her biggest fan (even bigger than me). Naysayers have to be ignored and her faith in what she has to do has to be strong. Unfortunately, atychiphobia lingers in so many of us. Atychiphobia is a fear of failure.
I
started this blog post over a month ago and I became discouraged. I hit some roadblocks. My GoFundMe account hit a stagnant point. I
received 41% of my goal through my GoFundMe, and via donations sent to me in
the mail. But I knew it was not
enough. People had stopped donating, and
my asking went from being patient to being a little embarrassed. There were other people with other
needs. Who am I to keep pestering people
about getting assistance to pay for my dissertation? Fear of failure had set it. I told myself my fundraising campaign was a
failure. And once fear kicks in,
negative thoughts take over.
Maybe
this dissertation thing is not for me. I mean, I have done a lot; I know my
title does not define me. I have a wife
and 4 kids. Maybe my focus needs to be
on other things. Maybe I should have
started my dissertation earlier in my life.
On February 8th, that changed.
Around
7:34AM on February 8th I got another message.
It was a game changer. It read “Dr. Hurd!
Get used [to] hearing it! I pray
that you are able to continue your study.
Your family in Pittsburg and their friends are very proud of you! Go get
‘em!” Attached to that message was a financial donation toward my
campaign.
I needed that! It made me challenge the fear of failure that haunts me daily. My journey is my journey. What works for me is uniquely designed for me. If I continue to compare myself to others and their success, I will not find my own. Fear of Failure is designed to get people to compare; compare to others, instead of the progress one is making on their journey. The other part of the Fear of Failure is to blind you from how you overcame how that can inspire others. Failures are often necessary for the successful results you want. The other part of the Fear of Failure is to blind you from how you overcame, and how that can inspire others. I am approaching my 40s and I am NOT giving up on the dreams I began to pursue when I was 18.
Just like me, my
daughter knows what she wants to do and she has a long journey ahead. She
wants to design clothes to change the world.
The fashion industry can be tough; she will have failures. I hope by overcoming my own Fear of Failure,
I will help her be fearless. I do not
want her to fear failure; I want her to learn from failure. I want her to learn over and over again.
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