Friday, March 23, 2018

I'm Black Ya'll! - a book review


A few thoughts on Tomi Adeyemi’s Children of Blood and Bone:

This book is so BLACK! AND I LOVE IT!!! It is spewing with #blackgirlmagic from page 1.  Upon cracking the spine of this book, every Black woman that reads it can feel a connection to Zelie Adebola that she won’t get from the likes of Katniss Everdeen or Bella Swan.  We feel Zelie’s hair, we feel Zelie’s mother-figure of a teacher, and we feel her presumed nemesis.  We think back to the day we embraced our natural hair, the auntie that had permission to whoop our tail, and the girl down the street that stared at us when we walked to the corner store. This book was written for us and I am here for it!

After we make it pass the initial shock of very literally being in the book, we realize there is a rich story to be experienced.  Children of Blood and Bones is the story of the maji of the fictional country of Orisha.  Zelie is a diviner.  She is a young would-be maji.  Sadly, her people’s magic has been stripped away for years now.  When it is discovered that magic may have returned to Orisha, Zelie goes on a quest to restore the glory of magic to her people.

I was enthralled from beginning to end.  I wanted the maji to win!  I had to see how it would end.  That meant that I had to read a 523-page novel.  Wow! I did that (in eight days!!!)!  That is one heck of a feat for me.  But… I was committed.  When I heard about this book and its anticipated movie, I was intrigued.  I was intrigued by this young African-American author.  Tomi Adeyemi is a graduate of Harvard, daughter to Nigerian parents, and this was her debut work.  She was offered a movie deal BEFORE the book was even released.  Can we scream #blackgirlmagic again!?!!? I will: BLACK GIRL MAGIC!! YESSS!!!  Ms. Adeyemi was compelled to write this series by the ever present story line of unarmed Black Americans being killed by law enforcement.  Knowing this, I expected a story that would hit hard.  I was not disappointed. 

Here is just a short list of the dichotomies that are scattered throughout the book.  I do believe that this list entails why some of our non-Black fellow readers may not appreciate this book the way that Black folk will.  If you have no experience with these dichotomies, you may be lost. 

good hair vs. bad hair
light skin vs. dark skin
upper class vs. middle class
police vs. Black Lives Matter
woke vs. Sunken Place

Now, I have told you as much as I can without spoilers. Would you please go out and get the book, order it online, or download the audio.  I’m going to need you to check it out so we can talk about it.  

Dr. Elgrie J. Hurd, III: Fear of Failure


Whose Dream are You Funding:  Success or Failure?

I am honest enough to say I want the world for my daughter. And why wouldn't I?! As a parent I want my children to experience success. I want them to have access to the things that interest them.  The hope is that my perception of their interests are actually legit. How do I verify that I am right?  I don't want to be that parent to push my dreams on my daughter (or my sons).

I want my daughter to work for her dreams.  At the same time I struggle to determine how to support her to embrace the possibility of failure.  I do not pretend everything will work out the way she plans.  But, I do not want her to fear failure.  I want to show her not to fear failure. For my daughter to live out her dreams she will have to be bold.  Sometimes she will have to be her biggest fan (even bigger than me).  Naysayers have to be ignored and her faith in what she has to do has to be strong. Unfortunately, atychiphobia lingers in so many of us. Atychiphobia is a fear of failure.

I started this blog post over a month ago and I became discouraged.  I hit some roadblocks.  My GoFundMe account hit a stagnant point. I received 41% of my goal through my GoFundMe, and via donations sent to me in the mail.  But I knew it was not enough.  People had stopped donating, and my asking went from being patient to being a little embarrassed.  There were other people with other needs.  Who am I to keep pestering people about getting assistance to pay for my dissertation?  Fear of failure had set it.  I told myself my fundraising campaign was a failure.  And once fear kicks in, negative thoughts take over.

Maybe this dissertation thing is not for me. I mean, I have done a lot; I know my title does not define me.  I have a wife and 4 kids.  Maybe my focus needs to be on other things.  Maybe I should have started my dissertation earlier in my life.  On February 8th, that changed.

Around 7:34AM on February 8th I got another message.  It was a game changer. It read “Dr. Hurd!  Get used [to] hearing it!  I pray that you are able to continue your study.  Your family in Pittsburg and their friends are very proud of you! Go get ‘em!” Attached to that message was a financial donation toward my campaign.  

I needed that!  It made me challenge the fear of failure that haunts me daily.  My journey is my journey.  What works for me is uniquely designed for me.  If I continue to compare myself to others and their success, I will not find my own.  Fear of Failure is designed to get people to compare; compare to others, instead of the progress one is making on their journey.  The other part of the Fear of Failure is to blind you from how you overcame how that can inspire others.  Failures are often necessary for the successful results you want.  The other part of the Fear of Failure is to blind you from how you overcame, and how that can inspire others.  I am approaching my 40s and I am NOT giving up on the dreams I began to pursue when I was 18. 

Just like me, my daughter knows what she wants to do and she has a long journey ahead.  She wants to design clothes to change the world.  The fashion industry can be tough; she will have failures.  I hope by overcoming my own Fear of Failure, I will help her be fearless.  I do not want her to fear failure; I want her to learn from failure.  I want her to learn over and over again.